


Life Sucks Sometimes

by desperationandgin



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 14:47:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2195850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desperationandgin/pseuds/desperationandgin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina and Emma talk after a certain someone's near drowning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life Sucks Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> For Alexis. Happy Birthday :)

Emma’s not really thinking when she dives into the water off of Hook's boat, it’s just instinct. They won’t stop arguing, and she’s certain this will get everyone’s attention. She’s not expecting to get clocked in the head and knocked unconscious, though. She’s dazed when she blinks her eyes open, and Regina’s the first person she focuses on, not saying anything to her, just looking up as she works to catch her breath.

Regina feels like she’s going to lose whatever’s in her stomach while Emma lays there, not moving, not breathing. Lips blue. And when she wakes up and locks eyes with her, Regina’s face is soft for a moment until she yells one word. “Idiot!” And she walks away, not wanting to fight with anyone again. She sits on a crate, back to everyone.

Once Emma feels a little more coherent, she sits up straight, standing with David’s help, and taking a deep breath. Mary Margaret is fussing, and she gets it, but she just wants to be left alone right now. Leaning on the railing, she just watches the ocean waves, now completely calm.

After Regina’s had time to cool off too, she glances over at Emma every now and then but otherwise doesn’t move, still so damn angry at her for jumping into that water. And she hates that she’s so angry, but it doesn’t really matter either. Her face hurts, and she has a nice bruise with some swelling. She doesn’t realize that she’s staring at Emma, not until Emma catches her, and she looks away quickly.

When they finally manage to crash land on the island and use a smaller boat to row inland, Regina just stares at Emma as she gives her speech about leaders and finding Henry. And when it’s over, she goes off by herself. They sleep for the night, and in the morning head off into the jungle. Regina stays at the very back of the group, knowing she’s well on the outside of this by now. She knows how this goes. Henry’s her son, but she knows her place. The time will come when she needs to use her magic, but for now, she’s dead last.

By sundown, they’re all exhausted and sunburnt, and no closer to finding Henry, it seems, which just frustrates Emma. She steps away from the group, going to one of the large, sturdy trees, and doing pull-ups on the thick branch.

Regina’s feet are killing her and she pulls off her boots, her jacket long gone somewhere. It was too hot to keep on. She’s trying to find a place away from the group when she sees Emma, and she finally decides to talk to her. “How is it? Being the leader?”

“Whatever it takes to find Henry."

Regina opens her mouth again, then closes it, trying to figure out what she wants to say. “And jumping into the ocean was the best choice?”

Doing one more pull-up, Emma drops to the ground heavily, sitting down on the dirt and taking a moment to catch her breath. “No one was listening, what was I supposed to do?”

“Not drown would have been preferable,” Regina replies, her voice a little high pitched.

“Afraid of being alone with my parents?”

“I’ve been going up against your parents since before you were a twinkle in your parent’s eye,” Regina says, crossing her arms across her chest. “This isn’t the time for trying to kill yourself to prove a point.”

“It really upset you that much?” Emma asks, surprised.

Regina squares her jaw a little and looks away, silent. Which is, perhaps, answer enough.

“I thought you were just annoyed,” Emma says softly, so confused.

Regina marches up to Emma, standing right in front of her face. “If you die, Emma, I will never, ever…” She clenches her jaw again, and that hurts, so she winces and just turns away.

“Regina…” But Emma’s voice is so soft, she’s sure Regina doesn’t even hear her. She doesn’t follow her, just lets her go, but that reaction stops her in her tracks.

Not going far, Regina sits down on the ground, and then she curls up on her side, staring out into the jungle. All that she can see is Emma not moving. Emma’s lips blue.

“I wasn’t thinking, okay?”

"You were dead,” Regina says bluntly, but her voice is soft. “For a second. A few…moments.”

“Doesn’t that solve a lot of your problems?” The words fly from Emma’s mouth before she can reign them in.

Blinking quickly, Regina doesn’t say anything for a long time; she doesn’t know what to say. “Don’t do that. Try to twist your actions into what you think I would want.”

It’s just a defense mechanism on Emma’s part; one of many, really. “What do you want, then? Besides the obvious.” Which is getting Henry back.

“For you to stay alive,” Regina huffs.

"Noted," Emma murmurs. "I’ll be careful, Regina."

Staring out into the jungle again, Regina can’t help but let her thoughts wander, and she closes her eyes, speaking after what has to be close to ten minutes. “Henry’s out here somewhere.”

"He’s smart and brave, and we’ll find him."  It’s hard for Emma to believe anything right now, but she doesn’t accept that anything could happen to Henry.

“He ran away from home once,” the queen whispers. “To our backyard, but still. He was upset because I wouldn’t let him eat all of his Halloween candy. He was five. But…for almost an hour, I couldn’t find him anywhere in the house, and I…knew. For that hour, that I’d been fooling myself. That there was no way I would actually be allowed to keep the one thing that ever made me happy.”

“That’s what you think, all the time?”

“Not all the time. Not until recently.”

Emma has never once, in her entire life, had a good thing that lasted until Henry found her. Her life has been bleak and loveless, and the fleeting moments of joy she’s had were things she did for herself, like buying herself a cupcake every birthday, treating herself to an electric blanket in the winter that made her feel warm in the way she imagines another human being holding her would.

“Well. Life sucks sometimes.” Emma stands up, starting to walk away.

For some reason, Regina starts laughing. But it’s not in amusement. It’s bitter, and hurt, and when it fades, it’s on a sob she can’t control. She knows Emma’s life sucked. But it hurts just like Snow saying that Regina ruined her life. She doesn’t really have any fight left in her though, not right now, and not that isn’t about Henry.

Thrown off guard by that reaction, Emma turns her head to look back after a moment, and then just settles down near a tree, leaning her head back. She’s not exactly going to be useful right now, no matter what she says. Emma’s lost Henry now, and it hurts, and he was the only good thing in her entire life.


End file.
